Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Loving Someone: Irrationally & Rationally

In my almost 22 years of living in this planet, there is a question that keep bugging me since forever:

What is love?
Seriously, what is it??


In my journey of becoming adult (who plan to be settled in, yeah, few years from now) I keep asking myself everything, including love.
Love, for me, is a mysterious thing.
Yes, in psychology we learn about love. But I never took any class of interpersonal relationship, because I find it too menye-menye useless. Love is much more confusing than statistics, because we talk about hmmm people feelings?

Seriously, what is love itself?
Does love mean you attracted to the idea of a person?
Does love mean you are too much in love with yourself and you try to find someone who worship you?

And, how do you explain that you are really in love?

Have you ever looked at someone and then immediately saying, 'Yep, he's the one!'?
Then suddenly your life is full of flowers and confetti, you accept every flaws in that person.
You became irrational.

Or have you ever hung out with someone for like gazillion times, you share same interest, vision, purpose, values and everything, yet the spark is not there in the first place. 
You became rational.

I've been in both situations.
Which one is more promising to be your lifetime partner?
Well, I guess, you need both?

Someone's been telling me,
"Love is an immediate reaction! You don't need further logical explanation, but to love that person!"
But some other time, someone tells me,
"Only love can't feed your tummy, use logic too! You have to find someone who is, at least, on the same level with you in term of everything!"

These advice wander around my mind whenever I get closer to someone.
I keep questioning things like:
Is this feeling irrational or rational?
If I would need both feelings, which one has to be my consideration first?

Nope, I'm not expert in building or maintaining romantic relationship.
I choose to considerate the rational love first.
The fact that my past relationships just didn't work out well -- because I'm busy rational-ing my irrational feeling -- guess, I have to try to be rational.

It's not easy being rational.
You need to figure out first what are your interest, vision, purpose, values and everything; then you are able to choose which person has the most matched with you. I believe, the more time you spend with the person, it will grow that irrational feeling.
I mean, who can stand being with someone you irrationally love but share nothing in common?
Life would be easier with someone who shares a lot in common with you, right?

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I am a kind of girl who walk the talk.
These may sound cliche, but at some moments,
yes, it amazingly does grow ;)

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